Donny, We Need To Talk

Loser Donny, the losing-ist loser in a family of losers. You don’t have to go home, Don, but you can’t stay here.

Donny, dude, you need an intervention, so let me ‘intervent’.

Donny, all this ‘voter fraud nonsense your pushing, even you know that’s crap, right?  You just come up with a crazy claim out of thin air (or your ass), and then go looking for evidence of your made-up claim, smearing election officials and voters as you go, and encouraging your supporters to continue to harass and threaten them? That doesn't seem to be how that is supposed to work… at all. In a real investigation, you investigate, find out what going on (you know, find evidence, facts, proof) THEN you make your judgement. Right now, you're just spewing nonsense ("I won the election... by a lot!" classic tweet there, Don, but not true).

I know, I hear you, you say I’ve been told ‘Trump is a liar’ over and over (anyone ever tell you this ‘talking about yourself in the 3rd person’ thing is weird? Cause it is). Ya see Donny, I have not 'been told' Trump is a liar, I see you lie ALL THE TIME. I have eyes and ears, almost every time you open that mouth, you lie. Sometimes I think you lie just for the practice. Now you’re claiming your election watchers were not allowed in the counting rooms? Come on, I mean, come on… Your own lawyers admitted in court that the watchers were in there, watching. Didn’t they tell you? You say there were 'massive' irregularities? What evidence is there? Investigate, find evidence, THEN you can make those claims, otherwise dude, you're just spewing. Seriously, if those vile, evil DemoRATS were going to steal elections, why didn't the steal the senate as well? They didn’t think of it? Uh… right.

All this yelling about fraud in the counting is dangerous, you know that, right? You heard about the death threats against the Republican Philadelphia City Commissioner Al Schmidt has been receiving over the ballot counts? From your supporters?

No Donny, the evil 'progressives', ‘socialists’, and AOC are not making death threats in an election they won. You realize that makes zero sense, right? They aren't hiding anything. Seriously, you've bought into this so hard you don't realize you're talking and pushing baseless conspiracies.

Or do you..?

No one stole this election Donny, there is just no evidence of fraud, none, nada, zilch, just a lot of butt-hurt whinny Republicans who didn’t get their way. Even the Republicans in charge of the elections in their districts and states are saying it was a clean election, unless.... OF COURSE!!! They're only pretending to be Republicans! They've spent years undercover, knowing someday Biden would need them to smuggle in millions of ballots, disguised as Fox New camera equipment. Then, when all the aggressive GOP poll watchers' backs are turned... BAM! All those pre-marked ballots are thrown into the sorter. Election... STOLEN!!!

OMG… it’s all true!

Pre-tty nefarious. Really. See what I’m getting at here, Donny? See where it is allllll heading? Nutsy, coo-coo squirrel land. Yes, I'm making fun of the idea, but mine makes as much sense as what you, your family, and the GOP is selling. You do know Biden is up by 7 million right now. All fraudulent, I suppose? Donny, Donny, stop screaming. You want a soda? Press your Diet Coke button, buddy. Use it while you still can.

That better? Good. Where were we… Ah, yes, facts. Did you know that Republicans have struggled to win nationally for decades? Since 1992, only ONE Republican has won the popular vote. No, that wasn’t you pal, you lost by nearly three million votes. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Donny, there is no evidence three million people voted illegally, none. No, there isn’t, No… Here I’ll press the button this time. It’s true, without the Electoral College saving them, Republicans can't win. You’re running out of angry White people. No Donny, it's not a conspiracy, it’s called ‘demographics’, and you’ve known it was coming for ya for years. And since you refuse to court POC, it's going to be harder and harder to win a national election.

Yes, even you, Don.

Come Donny, you know this nonsense is designed to undermine fair elections, undermine democracy (on the ‘Trump’ brand there), rile the armed far-right up (the ones making anonymous death threats, because classy) and give them a narrative to sell in 2022 (don't let them steal THIS one)…crazy.

You must know you can’t win, but you want to tear the whole place down out of spite. If you can’t have it, then no one can.

Like I said, on brand.

Movers will be here in January. Have your shit ready.